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If there is a twilight zone for football shirts, then this is it, a place where colours clash, sponsors logo’s cause mirth and patterns come straight from Satan’s design team.

 I guess I should start with my own team, in 1993 Southampton teamed up with American Sports brand Pony, who were more famous for their American Football equipment than Association football. Looking to gain a foothold in the lucrative English football shirt market, Pony released this monstrosity onto the unsuspecting Southampton public. This was the away shirt that went with the red and white striped home kit, Saints had played in turquoise and blue in the early eighties, it didn’t work then and it still doesn’t now. The only redeeming thing about this kit is that Matthew Le Tissier once scored a cracking goal whilst wearing it, in a 4-2 defeat to Liverpool. Mind you it did make his bum look big!

There really was a lot wrong with football shirts in the early 1990’s and this one is REALLY wrong! It took a few months before anyone noticed the swastika’s in Italian club Fiorentina’s away shirt from 1992. If you look closely at the pattern of the violet part of the kit you will see them. Needless to say Fiorentina immediately withdrew the kit and never played in it again, but honestly how could someone have missed that?

Another “what the hell where they thinking?” away shirt from the early 90’s and this time it is Chelsea with their “fuzzy TV reception” shirt, a grey mess with garish orange thrown in (yeah like those colours go together) and the body language of Mark Hughes in that photo, is screaming, “Let’s get this game over with so I can get out of this kit and burn it!”

Still at least Chelsea didn’t use their hideous grey kit as an excuse like Manchester Untied did in 1996 when this kit apparently made their players invisible to each other.  3-0 down to my beloved Southampton at half-time, old man Ferguson made them change kits. They still lost!  

 

A double horror feature up next from Brighton (actually a triple horror if you include the name of the sponsor) as here we see Brighton going through their Chewits sweet wrapper phase! Compounded by having the legend “NOBO” written across the front!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Talking of triple horrors it’s nice to see that it’s not just English clubs leading the way in the crap football shirt stakes. Here our Teutonic cousins steal a march with their combined football shirt/beach towel combo, from German club FC Bochum. No doubt this was draped over a few pool side sun loungers at hotels across the Mediterranean. Really it just looks like they have got someone to stitch three kits together!

 

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